— Anonymous (via alittleheartandruh)
Love Always Has Me Packing
Nothing as beautiful as words sewn together by the thread of a broken heart/a lost soul whose love has been rejected.
I know rejection…and his accomplices: hurt/broken/lonely/homeless
And the pain they yield
This time it sent me packing
I couldn’t stand the stench of it,
It was already starting to go off/rotting/fermenting…
I hate worms..and that sour smell
I couldn’t sit and watch them devour
What was once ours
What was once smelled and tasted
But they said love has no expiration date?!!
So I took out my suitcase,
The one I had put in storage just 3months ago,
The sight of it…
Reminds me of the all too familiar
that have tried to dress the part,
And had me unpacking,
“Welcome home” they said,
then packing shortly after.
So I …
Creased out my pride
Carefully laid out my love to him
[He failed to notice]
And then folded it with the utmost care.
As I consoled myself;
“But they said,love is never wasted nor in vane”
Then I took my care,that was hung on the back of the door,
still half open from when he slammed it after our argument about his
“detached ways/reserved emotion/head in the clouds/unlocatable heart/words he never says/heart he failed to resuscitate since his last break up/fire he fails to keep going/love he refuses to give me” …
And together with love placed it in my suitcase..
I opened the closet,
I thought all his skeletons would fall out!
Instead his promises untruely hung there..
“To be your sunshine and blue skies”
“To love you”
“To remain the man you fell inlove with”
“Emotional transparency and consistency”
“To be a home for you”
“Never take up windchasing”
Some I couldn’t even bear to look at.
I chose to forget their meaning/spelling/pronunciation
So I’ll have an excuse not to mention/recall
And one by one put them down
And threw them in the suitcase
[They were already broken anyways]
And picked it up
Walked out the door.
Failing to persuade my shadow to leave with me,
Soon as my friends saw me walking around with that suitcase,
They knew…I don’t know if it was my eyes gone red from my heartfailing/heart bleeding
They know the drill!
They told me “Move from that house of a man,they always send you packing,
And by the time he returns from his “vacation” only your shadow and scent will be lingering in that house”
But what broke me the most was his failure to see that I had packed and left,
His failure to distinguish between my shadow & being.
I’ve realized U can’t pour out loves warmth on cold hearts,they don’t feel.
And once a heart goes cold,
You can’t resuscitate it.
— Olwethu Ma’Olee Nxasana